In Sir Ridley Scott’s “Blade Runner” (1982), the Voight-Kampff test measures a subject’s blushing, heartbeat, and pupillary dilation to determine whether they are human or android—a process that usually leads to someone getting blasted through a wall.
Luckily, no physical violence was involved when I administered the test to critic-at-large Chance Solem-Pfeifer, who participated to promote our Tomorrow Theater screening of two films directed by Sir Ridley: “Alien” (1979) and “Thelma & Louise” (1991).
As Chance and I lack the telltale bronze eyes of the androids in “Blade Runner,” our version of the test didn’t seek to confirm our humanity (unlike Harrison Ford’s Rick Deckard, we’re both relatively certain that we weren’t manufactured by the Tyrell Corporation).
Instead, we enjoyed a quixotic conversation about our passion for Sir Ridley, commencing with a stroll down “Alien” lane and concluding with a tribute to the gloriously lurid costumes of “American Gangster” (2007), Scott’s biopic of Harlem drug lord Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington).
What follows are edited and condensed excerpts of our Ridley Scott Voight-Kampff test. Enjoy—and don’t forget to use the code MMMM-5 to get $5 off when you buy tickets for “Alien” or “Thelma & Louise” at tomorrowtheater.org.
Bennett Campbell Ferguson: You’re in a desert, walking along the sand. You look down and see all 29 of Ridley Scott’s films on Blu-ray. They’re baking in the sun, and without your help, they’ll melt. You can only save one film. Which one do you save?
Chance Solem-Pfeifer: Snap decision is “Alien.” Yourself?
Bennett: It’d be “Blade Runner” for me. You can elaborate!
Chance: The 1979 film “Alien” is a good movie. I think I’m the only one to ever express this opinion [laughs]. When you look at Ridley Scott’s career, it always just blows my mind that “Alien” was his second movie—and then he goes on to make such a variety of good, bad, and middlingly entertaining films. But it all started with “The Duellists” (1977) and “Alien” with such a bang.
Bennett: I love the wildness of the good, the bad, the in-between. Because it shows a level of risk taking [by Sir Ridley] that I think a lot of more consistent filmmakers just don’t have, honestly.
Moving on, describe, in your own words, only the good things that come into your mind when you think about “Prometheus” (2012). I know you’re an “Alien: Covenant” (2017) man, so this might be hard.
Chance: I think about David [the villainous android played by Michael Fassbender] dyeing his hair and watching “Lawrence of Arabia” (1962). I think about him shooting a hook shot on a bicycle.
I think of all the preposterously wicked evil butler lines: “I didn’t think you had it in you. Sorry, poor choice of words.” I think of Michael Fassbender saying, “It’s quite all right, Dr. Shaw,” as she zips his head in a bag. I just think of all the David stuff, man.
Bennett: Maybe this is a not-so-hot take, but I think David is the hero of both “Prometheus” and “Covenant.”
Chance: Yeah, humans didn’t do so hot. Let’s give David a shot!
Bennett: Next question. It’s your birthday. A friend wants to celebrate by screening the 194-minute roadshow version of “Kingdom of Heaven” (2005). Do you accept his invitation?
Chance: I do, because I want more Ed Norton in that movie. You need more Ed Norton. He’s the most interesting character in the film.
Bennett: It’s so amazing that [Norton is] behind a mask the entire time. It just forces you to focus on little gestures, on the tone of his voice. I love being forced to pay attention to a performance that intensely.
Chance: And when he chooses to use his scarred hands and when he doesn’t.
Bennett: So, we have two more questions. You’re watching television. Suddenly, you realize that there are only three films playing on every channel: “A Good Year” (2006), “The Counselor” (2013), and “House of Gucci” (2021). You must watch one. Which one do you watch?
Chance: That’s an interesting trio. I am very interested in 21st century Ridley. I do not like “The Counselor,” and yet I think it’s definitely the most interesting of those three movies. And I think my need for stimulating my self-doubt would cause me to watch “The Counselor” over and over again, looking for the depth of Cormac McCarthy’s script and just how vile I find some of the violence.
Bennett: I kind of love “The Counselor” because of how defiantly anti-cinematic it is. It has a totally random character [played by Richard Cabral] who gives a speech about how the dog food he’s buying is for him—because he’s on a diet where he eats dog food—and in the next scene, he actually has a dog and the dog food is just for his dog. Shit like that is why I have a soft spot for that movie.
Chance: And the whole currency of grief speech at the end, which is so overcooked. It’s all delivered by a guy on the phone who you don’t know anything about. It’s quite a choice.
Bennett: Final question. You’re shopping for new clothes. You come across the chinchilla coat and hat that Denzel Washington wore in “American Gangster” [when he played Frank Lucas]. It’s on sale, at half price. Do you buy it?
Chance: Is this a trick question? Because the answer, if you are a devotee of the life of Frank Lucas, is that you absolutely don’t buy it! That’s the thing that sunk the anonymity of his entire criminal empire.
He never should have put on that hat and sat so goddamn close to the ring at Ali vs. Frazier I. Because that’s when [the Federal Bureau of Narcotics] started getting pictures of him. When he puts on the coat and hat, it’s the beginning of the end.
Bennett: I love how you actually gave a real answer to that silly question. You’ve sold me on not buying the coat—and you’ve sold me on Denzel Washington being right to burn it in the fire.
GO: “Thelma & Louise” and “Alien” play at the Tomorrow Theater, 3530 SE Division St., 503-221-1156, tomorrowtheater.org. 3:30 pm (“Thelma & Louise”) and 7:00 pm (“Alien”) Saturday, March 8. $15.
